My bolognese is rather traditional. No I was not one of the 400 Italian chef’s whipping up the perfect and authentic bolognese sauce but I might as well been. Sorry signores – but I bet mine is better. Nyah nyah plippppt…

Acquistare lo seguito (Which loosely translates to whatcha need…)

2 T olive oil
2 T butter
1 onion diced
2 carrots – diced
2 stalks celery – diced
4 cloves garlic – diced
1/2 # beef – ground
1/2 # pork – ground
1/2 # veal – ground
1 C Milk (I used 2%)
1 C dry white wine
1 C beef or veal broth
32 oz. can of whole tomatoes
1+ t red pepper flakes (to taste – we added more…)
Bay leaf
Nutmeg (to taste – I add about half a nut)
1 t thyme
salt and pepper to taste

Cosa c’? bisogno di fare (Which loosely translates to the torturous steps to achieve bolognese perfection…)

In a large stock pot or dutch oven melt the butter and olive oil together. Add onions, carrot and celery (also known as a mirepoix) and cook till onions are translucent. About 5-8 minutes. Add the garlic, pork, lamb and beef. Cook till no longer pink. At this point if you would like to drain off some of the grease you can. I like to keep it around for giggles… and flavor.

Add the milk and the nutmeg and cook about 8 minutes. Most of the milk will have cooked down.

If you haven’t drank the wine by now – add that and also cook for about 8 minutes, or until most of it has cooked down.

Add the can of tomatoes, the broth, the bay and the thyme if using dried herbs. (I did in this dish.) Now let this baby barely simmer – uncovered – for about 3-4 hours. I know that seems excessive, and I have made this simmering for only 2 hours. But trust me on this. The longer the better.

About an hour from when you are planning to eat, add the crushed red pepper.

When you are about ready to eat. Taste and adjust salt, pepper, nutmeg, red pepper, etc to taste. Oh and make your pasta. I chose orecchiette because the sauce clings to it like – oh my crazy. Toss pasta with sauce, top with Parmesan and serve. Or don’t top with Parmesan. I know some of you meat sauce aficionados say oh the horror! No parmesan with a meat sauce!!! But I say if you like the damn parm, spread the damn parm love!

And that is it!

In truth, I am not even sure the bolognese made crab ass happy. He ate it awfully fast. I remember him saying something with his mouth full…

Might have been more coffee please…

And I just got off the Phone with Jeff who is also about as unamused to be alive today as I am. He informed me (more like whined to me for a while and then told me) he was making soup – which made me very jealous as I am in Chicago far away from said soup and he makes some good soup. Ahem. There better be some left over for me tomorrow… Tho it got me thinking of one of my favorite soups to make on cold dreary hang out in bed and watch Chuck reruns or Princess Bride days. It is quick, tasty and spicy – sure enough to scare away the sniffies. Especially if you add my secret ingredient.

Gather the following:

1# of lean beef – ground
1 onion diced
3 carrots diced
3 celery diced
2 cloves garlic
1 bay leaf
1 t fresh thyme (about 1/3 if using dried)
2 cups diced tomatoes or 1 15 oz can diced with juices
4 C beef broth
1/2 C barley
1 7.75 oz can super secret El Pato Mexican hot style tomato sauce (Oh noes the SECRET IS OUT!)
Salt and pepper to taste

The tough part:

Cook up the beef in a large stock pot. Add the carrots, onion and celery and cook till you are happy. Or till the onions are happy, which ever happens first. Add the garlic and cook till golden. Then add the bay leaf, thyme (if dried. If fresh – wait till about the last 20 minutes of cooking), tomatoes, broth, el pato super duper secret tomato sauce and barley. Cook about 45 minutes to an hour or until barley is done to your liking. I hate mushy barley so I tend to lean on the short time side. Taste. Salt and pepper… taste again? You like? Serve it up with a light topping of your favorite cheese. The el Pato sauce is one of my “go too’s”. I add it to my world famous lasagna, chicken soup, just about anything to throw in some tasty kick. It has a wonderful flavor and a touch of heat and is just perfect when you don’t have a steady supply of fresh chilies because it is freaking winter…

I like to top this soup with some fresh shredded Parmesan or Mexican queso fresco cheese. Oh yea… you know you will be feeling reallllllll good in just about 3… 2… 1… Ah!

The el Pato sauce is found in most grocery stores in the Mexican section, not the tomato section. That is how I have hid from you all these years btw ha ha!

But really. Serious. Try it.

Now.