Oh yeah many of you were asking what I got Heather for Valentine’s Day.  Well it follows the annual theme of creepy garden gnomes.

It is the female one on the left and I got it from http://www.whatonearthcatalog.com/whatonearth/Item_Skel-A-Gnomette-and-Skel-A-Gnome-Garden-Sculptures_CF2993G_ps_dpr.html.  Great company with prompt shipping and awesome customer service.

Past that it is finally starting to break from winter here so the garden plotting and planning is even in full effect.  Heck Heather started a bunch of seeds so I would not be surprised if DEA is not knocking down my front door in a couple weeks because of the heat signature my house is putting out.

The other major change is the garage is slowly being turned into the official Safehouse Brewery and Brewpub.  Invitation only but the beer is cold and guarantee a grill or a smoker is got something cooking on it.

This was one of those recipes that was grilled to delicious perfection.

For the coleslaw you will need:

• 1/2 cup mayo
• 1/4 cup IPA or other beer
• We cheated and bought a coleslaw kit since it is a heck of a lot easier than sitting there using a mandoline to break down cabbage and carrots.  However; if you are inclined I am betting a small head should suffice.
• If you are grating cabbage and not being lazy make sure you add in a grated carrot.
• 1/2 red onion thinly sliced
• 2 chipotle in adobo diced
• 2 teaspoons honey
• 1/4 cup cilantro
• 1 teaspoon cumin
• juice of one lime
• salt and pepper

Coleslaw idiot directions:

• Combine
• Put in fridge
• Wait a couple hours
• Taste.  Do you like it?  Great then you are ready.  If you hate it adjust the flavors.  You might need more salt or pepper.

For the fish you will need:

• 1 lb mahi
• 1/4 cup canola oil
• juice of a lime
• 1 tablespoon ancho powder
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne
• 1/4 cup cilantro

Fish is even harder than the coleslaw to make:

• Combine everything
• Wait 20 minutes
• Grill or oven bake until the fish is flaky

To assemble the tacos:

• Soften corn tortillas
• Throw in some spoonfuls of coleslaw
• Add in some flaked fish
• Throw in whatever in the heck else you like
• Serve and enjoy!

This is really not BBQ because to me BBQ is low and slow cooking but everyone closely associates BBQ sauce as having a majority of the ingredients that are used in this dish so… “BBQ” it is.

Oh yeah and for the record I think we had to set a new record.  We decided hey it is fall and I have a passion for burning stuff (not like creepy arson guy and I just realize there is absolutely no way I can make that previous statement sound right so pray I never get arrested on arson charges because that statement would end me in jail.  However; the spin off Blog He Shanks She Cooks would be awesome).  Anyways back on track… so we build this killer fire pit and are having a blast with friends over drinking beer and b.s.ing.  Next thing we know the joyous Fire Department shows up saying someone is complaining about a smoke nuisance.  Now according to the fire department (who were polite and even turned down the offer of s’mores) even though the fire pit is legal if someone complains we have to put it out.  However; they cannot fine so from here on out the fire pit is going to be constantly running in hopes of annoying neighbors because that is what we do……

With this recipe we busted out our secret stash of booze, dug deep, and found Honey Crisp by Crispin.  Awesome drinking cider but everything is better with chipotles……

For this recipe you will need:

• 2 cups of Honey Crisp (regular cider would work too but try to find the Honey because it adds an awesome flavor and the added bonus is you will have a cup leftover for consumption)
• 1 cup of ketchup
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 teaspoons ancho chili powder
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• salt/pepper
• small dash cayenne pepper
• 1 onion finely diced
• 3-4 cloves of garlic
• 2 chipotle in adobo diced
• teaspoon of fresh thyme
• teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce
• teaspoon of paprika
• Canola oil and a tablespoon of butter

Steps to chicken success:

1. Pre-heat your oven to 400 degrees.
2. In a large pot over high heat melt the butter and oil.
3. Salt and pepper the chicken thighs and then brown them in the oil/butter.
4. Remove and set aside.
5. Drain all but one tablespoon of oil/butter goodness.
6. Add in the onion and cook until softened (about 3-5 minutes).
7. Add in the garlic, chili powder, paprika, and chipotles and cook for 30 seconds.
8. Add in the cider and bring to a boil scraping the bottom.
9. Add in the ketchup, thyme, Worcestershire, paprika, cayenne, sugar, and chicken.
10. Throw in 400 degree oven uncovered until chicken is done.
11. If you want the sauce to be a little thicker once the chicken is done remove it and set aside.  Put the pan over a high burner and boil violently for a couple of minutes.

Serve and enjoy!

BUT, and I don’t really want to point fingers here… buuuuttttttttt… some one else hasn’t posted in like 6,034,050 days… so if any flogging is going to happen it will be HIS heinie that get’s it NOT mine. I have a plethora of excuses. But only one way to make it up to you…

Another installment in the wonderful that is SCOOPAPALOOZA!

Yea another ice cream… I wish I had like oh I don’t know some juicy JERK PORK CHOPS or some GRILLED ONION CITRUS CHICKEN THIGHS to post but I am in a microscopic apartment at the moment, and making rice causes the inside temps to hit 90 in 3.4 seconds and I am afraid the heat will cause the lake to riptide. I wonder if anyone ELSE has some recipes for the aforementioned dishes to post… donno :donno:.

At least this ice cream… where not grill-able comes with some heat…

That, my friends is my newest warped creation, Mojo Mexican Ice Cream. And yea it is muy caliente y muy fría!

This ice cream is a brown sugar Ceylon cinnamon based cream, with swirls of dulce de leche and Mexican chocolate fudge which is flecked with bits of salted chipotle.

Yes. It is involved. But so very worth it. (Besides if you are like me – you already have cans of dulce in the fridge awaiting its calling so yea half done really…)

Lets start with the base:

2 cups of half and half
1 cup whipping cream
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 heaping tablespoon of Ceylon cinnamon (reserved)

(This cream and half & half base is my go to…)

Combine the half and half, the cream and the brown sugar in a medium sauce pan and cook over medium low heat. Stirring occasionally, bring this mixture to 170°. Remember – do not allow to boil… then remove from heat and let cool slightly. Pour into non reactive, air tight container and let cool in fridge overnight. (Must get to 40°)

Next the Dulce:

If I can teach Elle from Elle’s Kitchen to make Dulce de leche this way anyone can do it. Tho I think she stood just outside the kitchen door with blast shields up…

Take a can of sweetened condensed milk and peel the label off it.

Place the can in a deep pot and cover completely with water. Bring water to a boil and allow to boil, making sure that the can is completely covered at all times with water, for about 90 minutes. If you do it longer you will have a thicker dulce. About three hours produces a dulce that you can slice with a knife and eat like a chunk of cheese… (Gonna faint at the thought.) Regardless it is heaven and it is the easiest thing in the world to make. Albeit a little scary for the inexperienced.

Remove the can from the water and let cool. I HAVE opened the can after about 30 minutes when it was still a little hot to the touch (you do NOT need to in this instance…) I did it slowly. Nothing exploded or sprayed out like hot lava. Bottom line is this. I am not a kitchen safety expert, and definitely not following the OSHA guidelines for dulce surety. AND I KNOW damn well that a bunch of you are going to get all up in my ice cream because THIS IS SO NOT SAFE!!! Yea. Well. Neither is eating all of Jeff’s sour patch kids yet I do it…

So the dulce needs to be cool to add to the ice cream or it will melt. BUT you only want it room temperature. So. Leave the can closed on the counter top till you make the actual ice cream and move on to the fudge…

El Mexican Fudge

8 oz Mexican Chocolate (like Ibarra or Abuelita Marqueta, probably called Mexican hot chocolate so yes, this is NOT bitter chocolate)
1/3 cup butter
2 cups powder sugar
1 cup evaporated milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1 large dried chipotle pepper
Hot water to cover
1/2 t vanilla salt (just salt is fine too)

In a large saucepan, combine the chocolate and butter. Cook and stir over low heat until melted. Slowly add in the sugar and milk. Increase heat to a low boil and cook, stirring constantly, for about 8 – 10 minutes. Remove from heat and add the vanilla.

Take the chipotle and place in a small bowl or cup and just cover with hot water. Add salt and stir to dissolve. When soft, seed and chop into small dice. Return to water. Let sit till needed.

When the chocolate is cooled, divide. Store half in fridge for future topping use. Rinse and drain the chipotle and then add to the reserved half of the chocolate fudge.

Quick note. The dulce and fudge need to be no hotter or colder then room temperature. So if you make them the day before and store in fridge you will need to them to room temperature before layering in the ice cream.

Are you exhausted yet because I am just typing all this…

Ok so – time to get that ice cream maker out of the freezer and the base out of the fridge. And following your manufacturers guidelines, process the cream base. NOW is when you add the Ceylon cinnamon to the cream. While it is slowly becoming ice cream, get out a 32 oz container in which you will store the ice cream for its final freeze. When the cream is finished becoming ice cream, pour a third of it into the storage container. Then pour in a thin (ish) layer of dulce. Add another third of the ice cream and then add the chocolate chipotle fudge in its own naughty layer. Finally top with the rest of the ice cream. Cover and put immediately in the freezer for a MINIMUM of 4 hours, or as I like to refer to it as… torture.

When serving be sure to scoop all the way down to get to the all the layers.

I accept all forms of flattery & thanks. Go ahead throw money I won’t be offended.

This also means it is close to my favorite time of the year, New Years Eve.  Every year I host a party for all my friends and is a great time to turn them into culinary guinea pigs.  Normally I fire up the smoker for pulled pork and brisket joy but this year I think a standing rib roast is in order.  Now how to do it………

Followers of my old blog know I am a chili and citrus fanatic.  I always  have a can of chipotle in adobo relaxing in the fridge to be mixed with some with ranch dressing for dipping veggies to mad scientist experiments.

I am also a grilling nut and even though it is winter I cannot give up on my grills so I will stil be braving the elements to bring grilled goodies (ok slight exaggeration because the grills rest comfortably in the garage and my truck freezes outside).

Well I have rambled enough sans coffee so off to make some……….

For this recipe you will need:

• 2 chipotle chile in adobo
• 2 cloves of garlic diced
• 1 cup orange juice
• 1/4 cup lime juice
• tablespoon red-wine vinegar
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
• Chicken thighs

Really hard steps:

• Add everything but the chicken and combine.
• Taste. Does it taste right? Cool add chicken. If not add what you think it needs.
• Put in fridge for 2-3 hours.
• Grill chicken.  If you lack a grill or it is to cold for you a 400 degree oven for 40ish minutes should be enough.
• Boil down marinade until thick (about 10 minutes).