Funny. You sure have been hanging around more often lately. I think it is because you LOVE us and you LOVE our food and you LOOOVVVEEEE our salty wit. Jeff thinks you keep coming back because we are certifiably insane and like a good train wreck, you just can’t look away.

Okay, he may be SOMEWHAT correct. But regardless you like us enough to stick around, even if it is to see what the hell happens next. Well look out because somehow we are returning for yet another round of THE GREATEST BLOG ON EARTH! Staring yours truly(s), and about 59 other insanely hungry bloggers. And this time, our lovely host FoodBuzz, is pulling us kicking and screaming from the sanctity of our kitchens and thrusting us out into the cold cruel world to eat SOMEWHERE ELSE. Controlling as they are, we not only had to make and eat ONE course, but THREE. And they were going to make us bring something to drink too. And pack it all in a rather small yet well insulated FoodBuzz Cooler. The horror!

Ok look. We were getting a little tanked here. All we have been doing for the past 5 weeks is cooking up elaborate meals for our friends and family. And before that was summer time. Where we, well, grilled up elaborate meals for our friends and family. Don’t get me wrong. WE LOVE YOU GUYS! But seriously, I am beginning to think we are not a “couple” but a thirteen-sum. We were dying for some quiet time alone to, uhh, sit and get to know one another(?) So Jeff suggested a little day trip. We would bring along our stocked cooler of provisions. Enjoy a simple overnight camping trip at week’s end. He would even take a HALF DAY! Just him and me. Us. And a tent. Meh. Usually I am opposed to tent slumber because of the lack of outlets, but I was THRILLED at the chance for a break from the day-to-day and I JUMPED on him it.

Look! Look how happy I am in this photo. I am squeezing the LIFE out of our sleeping bag!

That big smile. The look of sheer joy. THAT WAS PURE BLISS I TELL YOU!

—

“Was” being the KEY word in that sentence… because here I am Wednesday.

As Jeff had just informed me that we had the obligations of a family function to attend. BUT not all hope was lost he told me after enduring me whining for thirty five minutes. We could just go SATURDAY after we got home!

See? Me. Happ happ happy! (WHY YES! Yes you crazy detective you – that IS the same happy photo. Congratulations. You get a cookie…)

Then Friday morning rolled around. And I was all making the bed and making coffee and making plans and then I look at Jeff. Jeff who had this look on his face that includes his “I’m cute please don’t kill me” smile. I glared at him. He said “um hon I forgot that I was on call this week and there is this thing I need to do this weekend (translation SATURDAY NIGHT) because of the fact I am on call but I can probably do it tonight but I’ll have to stay late and…” My eyes must have done a slow burn into his brain as he back peddled out of the room. I yelled after him JUST MAKE IT HAPPEN as he grabbed his coffee and slid out the door professing his ever undying love because lets face it, he had to come home to me.

But HE ACTUALLY PULLED IT OFF! He did what he had to do and we fulfilled our family obligations and YAY we were finally on our way! AND THEN his PHONE rang. My blood ran cold. He answered. Swallowed hard and his eyes became saucers as he turned to me. I mouthed “I kill you” as he pulled into the center lane. And turned around. No WiFi in the woods he said. I have responsibilities he said. You DO understand that right he said? I nodded that I did, showed him that he was my number one and sulked the entire way home. Sigh.

But you know what. He STILL made it happen. We just didn’t go that far from home. And my tent wasn’t a tent but it had outlets. And WiFi. And a view of our house. We “camped” in our back yard. And where I know that we didn’t technically leave home, we DID leave the house. And cooked up a storm with our cooler full of camping goodies at “Camp He Cooks She Cooks.”

First on the menu was Camp Fire Chili. Lucky us we installed that fire pit or we would have had to set fire to the remains of the tomato garden.

We (Jeff) makes one mean pot of chili. (My chili has beans in it which almost got me kicked out of his circle of trust but since it is just me and him in it he had to make a few concessions.) And chili over an open fire while pseudo-camping would be even better.

Camp Fire Mole Chili with Bells Two Hearted Ale

3 lbs of chuck, cubed and dusted with flour
1/2 lb bacon, diced
1 T paprika
4-6 T whole chili powder (started with 4 TB but added more halfway through to taste)
1 T oregano
1 T mix of cumin and coriander (1 to 1/2 ratio)
2 ounces of Mexican unsweetened chocolate
1 bottle of a high quality ale
3 cups of beef stock
1 onion, diced
4 cloves of garlic, minced
1/4 teaspoon of cayenne powder
1 large can of diced tomatoes
salt/pepper

First things first. You need to cook up the magical chili mirepoix.

Cook up the bacon while the dutch oven is getting hot, rendering out all that awesome bacon grease.

Remove the bacon, and brown the beef in the bacon grease. You will probably have to do this in a couple of batches so that you do not over crowd the beef or it will not brown.

Remove the beef and allow to drain.

Cook up the onions for a couple of minutes, till just softened.

It is customary at this point to crack open a beer. If you do not, your chili will fail miserably. Just saying.

Now add the beef and bacon back to the pot along with everything else on the list.

Mix well, cover and relax. Check and stir every 20-30 minutes, tasting each time. We always end up adding more chili powder and sometimes salt as we cook. This is why tasting is important. Cleanse you palate each time with another tasty brew.

And while that chili cooked for a couple of hours, Jeff plugged away on his computer, every so often checking my level of annoy-ity. It was waning. But I wasn’t going to admit that to him. Besides I had a book, my Droid and corn bread pancake-like fritters to attend to.

Sweet Corn Camp Side Cakes

Part 1 – the dry ingredients:
1 cup AP flour
1 cup corn meal
1/4 cup sugar
1 T baking powder

Part 2 – the wet ingredients:
1 egg
1/4 cup milk
2 T canola oil

Part 3 – the grill side ingredients:
hand full of the bacon reserved from the chili
1/2 cup corn kernels

Add all ingredients together, stir to incorporate.

While Jeff saved the world – I tried not to burn myself cooking over hot coals.

Heat oil (we used extra bacon grease brought from home) in a cast iron skillet. Once the oil is hot, drop spoon fulls of the batter in the skillet. Cover and cook a few minutes. They will get nice and puffy. Flip and cook till golden. NOTE: Over hot coals this all happens pretty fast. Stove top you can control the heat. By the way, these would work great in a cast iron corn bread pan.

Yay! Time to eat. The chili was hot and spicy and the corn bread sweet. Feel free to top your chili with whatever your little ole’ heart desires… We used onion, Serrano and queso fresco cheese. It was the perfect meal while kinda camping the backyard on a dreary, overcast 60° day. So perfect Jeff stopped working to eat. Double yay!

And while we enjoyed dinner. I tossed the apples in the coals.

Hot Coal Apples

apples
brown sugar
cinnamon
whole oat granola

Core and slice the apples.

Place the apple in the center of a sheet of foil.

Throw some brown sugar, granola and cinnamon on the apple.

Wrap up in a ball.

Toss on hot but not flaming coals (or in a 375° oven). Leave for 5-10 minutes.

Flip and leave for a few minutes more.

Serve with a splash of cream.

So obstructions, set-backs, delays and changes in scenery aside, it was an absolutely great time. We did admit however, it felt realllllly weird to not have a yard full of friends eating and drinking and laughing with us. But yea we still didn’t pick up the phone to call any of you. Actually we did text one friend to rub in the roaring fire, the yummy chili and the cold beer but he deserved it. We’ll make it all up to you this weekend. Promise.

Sorry we didn’t invite you either, dear reader, but we hope that you will forgive us and cast a vote in our favor for Most Awesomeist Food Bloggers Evaaah! If you do there is an ice cold beer in it for you.

You can find it in the cooler at the liquor store on the corner of… Oh who am I kidding. You KNOW where it is.

BUT, and I don’t really want to point fingers here… buuuuttttttttt… some one else hasn’t posted in like 6,034,050 days… so if any flogging is going to happen it will be HIS heinie that get’s it NOT mine. I have a plethora of excuses. But only one way to make it up to you…

Another installment in the wonderful that is SCOOPAPALOOZA!

Yea another ice cream… I wish I had like oh I don’t know some juicy JERK PORK CHOPS or some GRILLED ONION CITRUS CHICKEN THIGHS to post but I am in a microscopic apartment at the moment, and making rice causes the inside temps to hit 90 in 3.4 seconds and I am afraid the heat will cause the lake to riptide. I wonder if anyone ELSE has some recipes for the aforementioned dishes to post… donno :donno:.

At least this ice cream… where not grill-able comes with some heat…

That, my friends is my newest warped creation, Mojo Mexican Ice Cream. And yea it is muy caliente y muy fría!

This ice cream is a brown sugar Ceylon cinnamon based cream, with swirls of dulce de leche and Mexican chocolate fudge which is flecked with bits of salted chipotle.

Yes. It is involved. But so very worth it. (Besides if you are like me – you already have cans of dulce in the fridge awaiting its calling so yea half done really…)

Lets start with the base:

2 cups of half and half
1 cup whipping cream
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 heaping tablespoon of Ceylon cinnamon (reserved)

(This cream and half & half base is my go to…)

Combine the half and half, the cream and the brown sugar in a medium sauce pan and cook over medium low heat. Stirring occasionally, bring this mixture to 170°. Remember – do not allow to boil… then remove from heat and let cool slightly. Pour into non reactive, air tight container and let cool in fridge overnight. (Must get to 40°)

Next the Dulce:

If I can teach Elle from Elle’s Kitchen to make Dulce de leche this way anyone can do it. Tho I think she stood just outside the kitchen door with blast shields up…

Take a can of sweetened condensed milk and peel the label off it.

Place the can in a deep pot and cover completely with water. Bring water to a boil and allow to boil, making sure that the can is completely covered at all times with water, for about 90 minutes. If you do it longer you will have a thicker dulce. About three hours produces a dulce that you can slice with a knife and eat like a chunk of cheese… (Gonna faint at the thought.) Regardless it is heaven and it is the easiest thing in the world to make. Albeit a little scary for the inexperienced.

Remove the can from the water and let cool. I HAVE opened the can after about 30 minutes when it was still a little hot to the touch (you do NOT need to in this instance…) I did it slowly. Nothing exploded or sprayed out like hot lava. Bottom line is this. I am not a kitchen safety expert, and definitely not following the OSHA guidelines for dulce surety. AND I KNOW damn well that a bunch of you are going to get all up in my ice cream because THIS IS SO NOT SAFE!!! Yea. Well. Neither is eating all of Jeff’s sour patch kids yet I do it…

So the dulce needs to be cool to add to the ice cream or it will melt. BUT you only want it room temperature. So. Leave the can closed on the counter top till you make the actual ice cream and move on to the fudge…

El Mexican Fudge

8 oz Mexican Chocolate (like Ibarra or Abuelita Marqueta, probably called Mexican hot chocolate so yes, this is NOT bitter chocolate)
1/3 cup butter
2 cups powder sugar
1 cup evaporated milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1 large dried chipotle pepper
Hot water to cover
1/2 t vanilla salt (just salt is fine too)

In a large saucepan, combine the chocolate and butter. Cook and stir over low heat until melted. Slowly add in the sugar and milk. Increase heat to a low boil and cook, stirring constantly, for about 8 – 10 minutes. Remove from heat and add the vanilla.

Take the chipotle and place in a small bowl or cup and just cover with hot water. Add salt and stir to dissolve. When soft, seed and chop into small dice. Return to water. Let sit till needed.

When the chocolate is cooled, divide. Store half in fridge for future topping use. Rinse and drain the chipotle and then add to the reserved half of the chocolate fudge.

Quick note. The dulce and fudge need to be no hotter or colder then room temperature. So if you make them the day before and store in fridge you will need to them to room temperature before layering in the ice cream.

Are you exhausted yet because I am just typing all this…

Ok so – time to get that ice cream maker out of the freezer and the base out of the fridge. And following your manufacturers guidelines, process the cream base. NOW is when you add the Ceylon cinnamon to the cream. While it is slowly becoming ice cream, get out a 32 oz container in which you will store the ice cream for its final freeze. When the cream is finished becoming ice cream, pour a third of it into the storage container. Then pour in a thin (ish) layer of dulce. Add another third of the ice cream and then add the chocolate chipotle fudge in its own naughty layer. Finally top with the rest of the ice cream. Cover and put immediately in the freezer for a MINIMUM of 4 hours, or as I like to refer to it as… torture.

When serving be sure to scoop all the way down to get to the all the layers.

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