My bolognese is rather traditional. No I was not one of the 400 Italian chef’s whipping up the perfect and authentic bolognese sauce but I might as well been. Sorry signores – but I bet mine is better. Nyah nyah plippppt…

Acquistare lo seguito (Which loosely translates to whatcha need…)

2 T olive oil
2 T butter
1 onion diced
2 carrots – diced
2 stalks celery – diced
4 cloves garlic – diced
1/2 # beef – ground
1/2 # pork – ground
1/2 # veal – ground
1 C Milk (I used 2%)
1 C dry white wine
1 C beef or veal broth
32 oz. can of whole tomatoes
1+ t red pepper flakes (to taste – we added more…)
Bay leaf
Nutmeg (to taste – I add about half a nut)
1 t thyme
salt and pepper to taste

Cosa c’? bisogno di fare (Which loosely translates to the torturous steps to achieve bolognese perfection…)

In a large stock pot or dutch oven melt the butter and olive oil together. Add onions, carrot and celery (also known as a mirepoix) and cook till onions are translucent. About 5-8 minutes. Add the garlic, pork, lamb and beef. Cook till no longer pink. At this point if you would like to drain off some of the grease you can. I like to keep it around for giggles… and flavor.

Add the milk and the nutmeg and cook about 8 minutes. Most of the milk will have cooked down.

If you haven’t drank the wine by now – add that and also cook for about 8 minutes, or until most of it has cooked down.

Add the can of tomatoes, the broth, the bay and the thyme if using dried herbs. (I did in this dish.) Now let this baby barely simmer – uncovered – for about 3-4 hours. I know that seems excessive, and I have made this simmering for only 2 hours. But trust me on this. The longer the better.

About an hour from when you are planning to eat, add the crushed red pepper.

When you are about ready to eat. Taste and adjust salt, pepper, nutmeg, red pepper, etc to taste. Oh and make your pasta. I chose orecchiette because the sauce clings to it like – oh my crazy. Toss pasta with sauce, top with Parmesan and serve. Or don’t top with Parmesan. I know some of you meat sauce aficionados say oh the horror! No parmesan with a meat sauce!!! But I say if you like the damn parm, spread the damn parm love!

And that is it!

In truth, I am not even sure the bolognese made crab ass happy. He ate it awfully fast. I remember him saying something with his mouth full…

Might have been more coffee please…