Oh yeah many of you were asking what I got Heather for Valentine’s Day.  Well it follows the annual theme of creepy garden gnomes.

It is the female one on the left and I got it from http://www.whatonearthcatalog.com/whatonearth/Item_Skel-A-Gnomette-and-Skel-A-Gnome-Garden-Sculptures_CF2993G_ps_dpr.html.  Great company with prompt shipping and awesome customer service.

Past that it is finally starting to break from winter here so the garden plotting and planning is even in full effect.  Heck Heather started a bunch of seeds so I would not be surprised if DEA is not knocking down my front door in a couple weeks because of the heat signature my house is putting out.

The other major change is the garage is slowly being turned into the official Safehouse Brewery and Brewpub.  Invitation only but the beer is cold and guarantee a grill or a smoker is got something cooking on it.

This was one of those recipes that was grilled to delicious perfection.

For the coleslaw you will need:

• 1/2 cup mayo
• 1/4 cup IPA or other beer
• We cheated and bought a coleslaw kit since it is a heck of a lot easier than sitting there using a mandoline to break down cabbage and carrots.  However; if you are inclined I am betting a small head should suffice.
• If you are grating cabbage and not being lazy make sure you add in a grated carrot.
• 1/2 red onion thinly sliced
• 2 chipotle in adobo diced
• 2 teaspoons honey
• 1/4 cup cilantro
• 1 teaspoon cumin
• juice of one lime
• salt and pepper

Coleslaw idiot directions:

• Combine
• Put in fridge
• Wait a couple hours
• Taste.  Do you like it?  Great then you are ready.  If you hate it adjust the flavors.  You might need more salt or pepper.

For the fish you will need:

• 1 lb mahi
• 1/4 cup canola oil
• juice of a lime
• 1 tablespoon ancho powder
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne
• 1/4 cup cilantro

Fish is even harder than the coleslaw to make:

• Combine everything
• Wait 20 minutes
• Grill or oven bake until the fish is flaky

To assemble the tacos:

• Soften corn tortillas
• Throw in some spoonfuls of coleslaw
• Add in some flaked fish
• Throw in whatever in the heck else you like
• Serve and enjoy!

Fear not though I have been a grilling fool who sometimes drags a camera out to shoot.  However, I have been very lacking in the photography department (as evident by a plating picture that has overexposed rice).  However, my personal goal is to at least shoot a couple times a week relax and unwind (beats my other vices which will eventually kill me).  I also know garden updates went over really well last year so hopefully the ground can actually dry out enough that I can drag the camera out there without needing waders or a kayak.

Hmmm well unless you want to be bored to tears with talk of Cisco, VLANs, EIGRP, and all other joys of networking I am going to lob the ball to you and simply ask what has everyone else been up to????

For this recipe you will need:

• 1/4 cup lime juice
• 1/4 cup lemon juice
• 1/4 cup white wine vinegar
• 1 habanero
• 1/2 white onion
• 2 shallots
• 4 cloves of garlic
• 1/4 cup combined of chives/thyme/parsley
• 2 bay leaves
• Couple whole cloves
• 4 allspice berries (about 1/2 teaspoon in powder)

Steps to success:

1. Combine everything in a food pro (blender would work too)
2. Spin until a semi-chunky mess.
3. Pour over chicken.
4. Hmmmm….ok now it gets difficult….throw into the fridge for 4-6 hours and bake at 400 for 40 minutes or grill it up.

p.s. yes I know grammar and spelling still sucks and if it would have been perfect people would be calling foul……

This also means it is close to my favorite time of the year, New Years Eve.  Every year I host a party for all my friends and is a great time to turn them into culinary guinea pigs.  Normally I fire up the smoker for pulled pork and brisket joy but this year I think a standing rib roast is in order.  Now how to do it………

Followers of my old blog know I am a chili and citrus fanatic.  I always  have a can of chipotle in adobo relaxing in the fridge to be mixed with some with ranch dressing for dipping veggies to mad scientist experiments.

I am also a grilling nut and even though it is winter I cannot give up on my grills so I will stil be braving the elements to bring grilled goodies (ok slight exaggeration because the grills rest comfortably in the garage and my truck freezes outside).

Well I have rambled enough sans coffee so off to make some……….

For this recipe you will need:

• 2 chipotle chile in adobo
• 2 cloves of garlic diced
• 1 cup orange juice
• 1/4 cup lime juice
• tablespoon red-wine vinegar
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
• Chicken thighs

Really hard steps:

• Add everything but the chicken and combine.
• Taste. Does it taste right? Cool add chicken. If not add what you think it needs.
• Put in fridge for 2-3 hours.
• Grill chicken.  If you lack a grill or it is to cold for you a 400 degree oven for 40ish minutes should be enough.
• Boil down marinade until thick (about 10 minutes).

Larb is one of my favorite dishes to get at the local Thai restaurant unfortunately they lack a pork larb.  I have debated talking to management about the lack of love for the precious pig but decided it would be cheaper to just create my own and cut out the middle man.

This dish also helped me cut down drastically on the amount of meat in my freezers and pretty soon you will see some creative posts especially when I get to pig’s heart.   Yes you read that right I managed to acquire a pig’s heart from my last whole hog purchase.  Have no freaking clue what I can do with it but hey in keeping with my old school name it could be a disaster.

This dish also pisses me off because in true Jeff fashion I had to make it after I cleared out the herb garden so I had to head to the store to buy the fresh herbs.  I was cool with that until I saw how much they are charging you for a small container of mint…grrr.  Time to install some grow lights and grow herbs indoors.  I hope this does not put me back on a DEA watch list because I can not afford to go back to jail (you will never take me alive copper).

For this recipe you need:

• 2 lbs of ground pork
• 1 onion finely diced
• 1-2 jalapenos finely diced
• 2 cloves of garlic finely diced
• Thumb size piece of ginger finely diced
• Juice of 1 lime
• 3 tablespoons of fish sauce
• Heavy pinch of sugar
• 1/2 cup of fresh mint finely diced
• 1/2 cup of fresh corainder finely diced
• 1/2 cup of bay leaf finely diced
• Spoonfuls upon spoonfuls of sambal oelek
• Spoonfuls upon spoonfuls of Sriracha (p.s. Asian markets are the cheapest place to find sambal and siraracha)
• Toasted sesame oil

This is where it gets difficult so hold on:

• Brown pork, drain, set aside (you may need to add some oil to the pan if the pork is sticking)
• Lower the heat to medium, saute the onion and jalapeno until soft (about 5 minutes), add in the garlic and ginger, and saute for another 30 seconds.
• Add in the pork, lime juice, sambal, siraracha, fish sauce, herbs, sugar, and a couple dashes of sesame oil.
• Taste…are you happy?  If not add more sambal and siraraha because those two ingredients make everything taste better.

Serve and enjoy!