Funny. You sure have been hanging around more often lately. I think it is because you LOVE us and you LOVE our food and you LOOOVVVEEEE our salty wit. Jeff thinks you keep coming back because we are certifiably insane and like a good train wreck, you just can’t look away.

Okay, he may be SOMEWHAT correct. But regardless you like us enough to stick around, even if it is to see what the hell happens next. Well look out because somehow we are returning for yet another round of THE GREATEST BLOG ON EARTH! Staring yours truly(s), and about 59 other insanely hungry bloggers. And this time, our lovely host FoodBuzz, is pulling us kicking and screaming from the sanctity of our kitchens and thrusting us out into the cold cruel world to eat SOMEWHERE ELSE. Controlling as they are, we not only had to make and eat ONE course, but THREE. And they were going to make us bring something to drink too. And pack it all in a rather small yet well insulated FoodBuzz Cooler. The horror!

Ok look. We were getting a little tanked here. All we have been doing for the past 5 weeks is cooking up elaborate meals for our friends and family. And before that was summer time. Where we, well, grilled up elaborate meals for our friends and family. Don’t get me wrong. WE LOVE YOU GUYS! But seriously, I am beginning to think we are not a “couple” but a thirteen-sum. We were dying for some quiet time alone to, uhh, sit and get to know one another(?) So Jeff suggested a little day trip. We would bring along our stocked cooler of provisions. Enjoy a simple overnight camping trip at week’s end. He would even take a HALF DAY! Just him and me. Us. And a tent. Meh. Usually I am opposed to tent slumber because of the lack of outlets, but I was THRILLED at the chance for a break from the day-to-day and I JUMPED on him it.

Look! Look how happy I am in this photo. I am squeezing the LIFE out of our sleeping bag!

That big smile. The look of sheer joy. THAT WAS PURE BLISS I TELL YOU!

—

“Was” being the KEY word in that sentence… because here I am Wednesday.

As Jeff had just informed me that we had the obligations of a family function to attend. BUT not all hope was lost he told me after enduring me whining for thirty five minutes. We could just go SATURDAY after we got home!

See? Me. Happ happ happy! (WHY YES! Yes you crazy detective you – that IS the same happy photo. Congratulations. You get a cookie…)

Then Friday morning rolled around. And I was all making the bed and making coffee and making plans and then I look at Jeff. Jeff who had this look on his face that includes his “I’m cute please don’t kill me” smile. I glared at him. He said “um hon I forgot that I was on call this week and there is this thing I need to do this weekend (translation SATURDAY NIGHT) because of the fact I am on call but I can probably do it tonight but I’ll have to stay late and…” My eyes must have done a slow burn into his brain as he back peddled out of the room. I yelled after him JUST MAKE IT HAPPEN as he grabbed his coffee and slid out the door professing his ever undying love because lets face it, he had to come home to me.

But HE ACTUALLY PULLED IT OFF! He did what he had to do and we fulfilled our family obligations and YAY we were finally on our way! AND THEN his PHONE rang. My blood ran cold. He answered. Swallowed hard and his eyes became saucers as he turned to me. I mouthed “I kill you” as he pulled into the center lane. And turned around. No WiFi in the woods he said. I have responsibilities he said. You DO understand that right he said? I nodded that I did, showed him that he was my number one and sulked the entire way home. Sigh.

But you know what. He STILL made it happen. We just didn’t go that far from home. And my tent wasn’t a tent but it had outlets. And WiFi. And a view of our house. We “camped” in our back yard. And where I know that we didn’t technically leave home, we DID leave the house. And cooked up a storm with our cooler full of camping goodies at “Camp He Cooks She Cooks.”

First on the menu was Camp Fire Chili. Lucky us we installed that fire pit or we would have had to set fire to the remains of the tomato garden.

We (Jeff) makes one mean pot of chili. (My chili has beans in it which almost got me kicked out of his circle of trust but since it is just me and him in it he had to make a few concessions.) And chili over an open fire while pseudo-camping would be even better.

Camp Fire Mole Chili with Bells Two Hearted Ale

3 lbs of chuck, cubed and dusted with flour
1/2 lb bacon, diced
1 T paprika
4-6 T whole chili powder (started with 4 TB but added more halfway through to taste)
1 T oregano
1 T mix of cumin and coriander (1 to 1/2 ratio)
2 ounces of Mexican unsweetened chocolate
1 bottle of a high quality ale
3 cups of beef stock
1 onion, diced
4 cloves of garlic, minced
1/4 teaspoon of cayenne powder
1 large can of diced tomatoes
salt/pepper

First things first. You need to cook up the magical chili mirepoix.

Cook up the bacon while the dutch oven is getting hot, rendering out all that awesome bacon grease.

Remove the bacon, and brown the beef in the bacon grease. You will probably have to do this in a couple of batches so that you do not over crowd the beef or it will not brown.

Remove the beef and allow to drain.

Cook up the onions for a couple of minutes, till just softened.

It is customary at this point to crack open a beer. If you do not, your chili will fail miserably. Just saying.

Now add the beef and bacon back to the pot along with everything else on the list.

Mix well, cover and relax. Check and stir every 20-30 minutes, tasting each time. We always end up adding more chili powder and sometimes salt as we cook. This is why tasting is important. Cleanse you palate each time with another tasty brew.

And while that chili cooked for a couple of hours, Jeff plugged away on his computer, every so often checking my level of annoy-ity. It was waning. But I wasn’t going to admit that to him. Besides I had a book, my Droid and corn bread pancake-like fritters to attend to.

Sweet Corn Camp Side Cakes

Part 1 – the dry ingredients:
1 cup AP flour
1 cup corn meal
1/4 cup sugar
1 T baking powder

Part 2 – the wet ingredients:
1 egg
1/4 cup milk
2 T canola oil

Part 3 – the grill side ingredients:
hand full of the bacon reserved from the chili
1/2 cup corn kernels

Add all ingredients together, stir to incorporate.

While Jeff saved the world – I tried not to burn myself cooking over hot coals.

Heat oil (we used extra bacon grease brought from home) in a cast iron skillet. Once the oil is hot, drop spoon fulls of the batter in the skillet. Cover and cook a few minutes. They will get nice and puffy. Flip and cook till golden. NOTE: Over hot coals this all happens pretty fast. Stove top you can control the heat. By the way, these would work great in a cast iron corn bread pan.

Yay! Time to eat. The chili was hot and spicy and the corn bread sweet. Feel free to top your chili with whatever your little ole’ heart desires… We used onion, Serrano and queso fresco cheese. It was the perfect meal while kinda camping the backyard on a dreary, overcast 60° day. So perfect Jeff stopped working to eat. Double yay!

And while we enjoyed dinner. I tossed the apples in the coals.

Hot Coal Apples

apples
brown sugar
cinnamon
whole oat granola

Core and slice the apples.

Place the apple in the center of a sheet of foil.

Throw some brown sugar, granola and cinnamon on the apple.

Wrap up in a ball.

Toss on hot but not flaming coals (or in a 375° oven). Leave for 5-10 minutes.

Flip and leave for a few minutes more.

Serve with a splash of cream.

So obstructions, set-backs, delays and changes in scenery aside, it was an absolutely great time. We did admit however, it felt realllllly weird to not have a yard full of friends eating and drinking and laughing with us. But yea we still didn’t pick up the phone to call any of you. Actually we did text one friend to rub in the roaring fire, the yummy chili and the cold beer but he deserved it. We’ll make it all up to you this weekend. Promise.

Sorry we didn’t invite you either, dear reader, but we hope that you will forgive us and cast a vote in our favor for Most Awesomeist Food Bloggers Evaaah! If you do there is an ice cold beer in it for you.

You can find it in the cooler at the liquor store on the corner of… Oh who am I kidding. You KNOW where it is.

However, this should be proof positive the garden is alive and well because all vegetation came right from there.  Although really I have to throw the credit to Heather since she is the one who has been watering the garden, weeding, and all that good jazz.  However, it should be noted that even though she took care of the garden my truck still needs the oil changed…..

So without further b.s. or excuses here comes the recipe…..

• 6-7 bell peppers
• 1 lb of ground beef
• 1/2 lb of ground pork
• 1 red pepper
• 1 onion
• 1-2 jalapenos
• 4 cloves of garlic
• 2 TB of paprika
• 1/4 cup of fresh herbs (parsley, oregano, basil, thyme)
• 1 small can of diced tomatoes drained or 6 fresh tomatoes peeled and diced
• 1 cup of cooked rice
• 1 cup of shredded cheese (I used pepperjack)
• panko breadcrumbs
• couple TB of butter

Steps to success:

• Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
• Brown the ground beef and pork until browned. Remove and drain.
• Add in the onion, diced bell pepper, jalapeno until softened.
• Add in the paprika and garlic and cook for 30 seconds. Add in the tomatoes, rice, meat, rice, herbs, and cheese. Cook until the liquid is evaporated.
• Remove the top, veins, and seeds from the bell peppers. Shove the mixture in the peppers, top with breadcrumbs and a pat of butter.
• Cover with foil and bake for 45-60 minutes. Once the peppers are softened and then throw under a high broiler for a couple minutes until the topping is browned.

Serve and enjoy!

New Orleans is the my go to guy’s trip vacation city and many a weekends I have spent down there.  The details of my visits are sketchy and usually require all individuals were on the trip to piece together what really happened.  Also, all photographic evidence is burned damn near the second we are off the plane.  No freaking way those pictures are ever coming back to haunt us.

Jambalaya is one of my favorite dishes to get while in New Orleans along with crawfish etouffee, gumbo, red beans and rice, and who am I kidding I love everything creole/cajun cuisine can throw at me.  Heck I could not survive that town without an  every morning stop for jet fuel coffee and beniets from Cafe Du Mond.

Hats off and congratulations to New Orleans you guys definitely were the best team and proved it last Sunday.

For this recipe you will need:

• 1 lb andouille sausage
• 1.5 lb chicken cut into cubes (insert Homer Simpson drool over the thought of thighs)
• 1 lb of raw shrimp (deveined and peeled).
• 2 cups chicken stock
• 1 can of tomatoes (15 ounce size)
• 1 cup of rice
• 1 onion medium dice
• 1 celery stalk medium dice
• 1 green pepper medium dice
• 3 cloves of garlic finely diced
• 3 bay leaves
• Leaves from 4 stems of thyme
• Cayenne pepper to taste (about 1/2 teaspoon I find is dead on for good heat)
• Kosher salt and pepper
• Bacon grease (lots and lots of bacon grease)

Steps to success:

• In a cast iron dutch oven over medium-high heat melt the bacon grease and brown the andouille sausage.  Remove and set aside.
• Add in the chicken and brown all over (remember do not crowd the pan or else you end up with steamed chicken).  Remove and set aside.
• Add in the onion, green pepper, and celery and cook until the onion is translucent (about 5 minutes).
• Add in the chicken stock, tomatoes, rice, bay leaves, pinch of cayenne, thyme, andouille, and chicken into the pot.  Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer, cover, and cook till the rice is done (usually about 30 minutes).  Make sure you stir the pot occasionally.
• Check the pot occasionally to make sure all the liquid did not evaporate.  If it seems dry add in a splash of stock or water.
• Once the rice is done dump in the shrimp, cover, and wait 10 minutes.
• Serve and enjoy!

My bolognese is rather traditional. No I was not one of the 400 Italian chef’s whipping up the perfect and authentic bolognese sauce but I might as well been. Sorry signores – but I bet mine is better. Nyah nyah plippppt…

Acquistare lo seguito (Which loosely translates to whatcha need…)

2 T olive oil
2 T butter
1 onion diced
2 carrots – diced
2 stalks celery – diced
4 cloves garlic – diced
1/2 # beef – ground
1/2 # pork – ground
1/2 # veal – ground
1 C Milk (I used 2%)
1 C dry white wine
1 C beef or veal broth
32 oz. can of whole tomatoes
1+ t red pepper flakes (to taste – we added more…)
Bay leaf
Nutmeg (to taste – I add about half a nut)
1 t thyme
salt and pepper to taste

Cosa c’? bisogno di fare (Which loosely translates to the torturous steps to achieve bolognese perfection…)

In a large stock pot or dutch oven melt the butter and olive oil together. Add onions, carrot and celery (also known as a mirepoix) and cook till onions are translucent. About 5-8 minutes. Add the garlic, pork, lamb and beef. Cook till no longer pink. At this point if you would like to drain off some of the grease you can. I like to keep it around for giggles… and flavor.

Add the milk and the nutmeg and cook about 8 minutes. Most of the milk will have cooked down.

If you haven’t drank the wine by now – add that and also cook for about 8 minutes, or until most of it has cooked down.

Add the can of tomatoes, the broth, the bay and the thyme if using dried herbs. (I did in this dish.) Now let this baby barely simmer – uncovered – for about 3-4 hours. I know that seems excessive, and I have made this simmering for only 2 hours. But trust me on this. The longer the better.

About an hour from when you are planning to eat, add the crushed red pepper.

When you are about ready to eat. Taste and adjust salt, pepper, nutmeg, red pepper, etc to taste. Oh and make your pasta. I chose orecchiette because the sauce clings to it like – oh my crazy. Toss pasta with sauce, top with Parmesan and serve. Or don’t top with Parmesan. I know some of you meat sauce aficionados say oh the horror! No parmesan with a meat sauce!!! But I say if you like the damn parm, spread the damn parm love!

And that is it!

In truth, I am not even sure the bolognese made crab ass happy. He ate it awfully fast. I remember him saying something with his mouth full…

Might have been more coffee please…

And I just got off the Phone with Jeff who is also about as unamused to be alive today as I am. He informed me (more like whined to me for a while and then told me) he was making soup – which made me very jealous as I am in Chicago far away from said soup and he makes some good soup. Ahem. There better be some left over for me tomorrow… Tho it got me thinking of one of my favorite soups to make on cold dreary hang out in bed and watch Chuck reruns or Princess Bride days. It is quick, tasty and spicy – sure enough to scare away the sniffies. Especially if you add my secret ingredient.

Gather the following:

1# of lean beef – ground
1 onion diced
3 carrots diced
3 celery diced
2 cloves garlic
1 bay leaf
1 t fresh thyme (about 1/3 if using dried)
2 cups diced tomatoes or 1 15 oz can diced with juices
4 C beef broth
1/2 C barley
1 7.75 oz can super secret El Pato Mexican hot style tomato sauce (Oh noes the SECRET IS OUT!)
Salt and pepper to taste

The tough part:

Cook up the beef in a large stock pot. Add the carrots, onion and celery and cook till you are happy. Or till the onions are happy, which ever happens first. Add the garlic and cook till golden. Then add the bay leaf, thyme (if dried. If fresh – wait till about the last 20 minutes of cooking), tomatoes, broth, el pato super duper secret tomato sauce and barley. Cook about 45 minutes to an hour or until barley is done to your liking. I hate mushy barley so I tend to lean on the short time side. Taste. Salt and pepper… taste again? You like? Serve it up with a light topping of your favorite cheese. The el Pato sauce is one of my “go too’s”. I add it to my world famous lasagna, chicken soup, just about anything to throw in some tasty kick. It has a wonderful flavor and a touch of heat and is just perfect when you don’t have a steady supply of fresh chilies because it is freaking winter…

I like to top this soup with some fresh shredded Parmesan or Mexican queso fresco cheese. Oh yea… you know you will be feeling reallllllll good in just about 3… 2… 1… Ah!

The el Pato sauce is found in most grocery stores in the Mexican section, not the tomato section. That is how I have hid from you all these years btw ha ha!

But really. Serious. Try it.

Now.