Season’s Eatings! or How to spoil your foodie this holiday season!

*Waves white flag*

Okay okay already. I give. There is nothing like a good hunk of meat. Regardless of when. Or where. But let’s face it, a yummy cookie or cupcake will never EVER be turned down either. Especially after your belly is full of the aforementioned hunk o’ meat. But yes, I love brisket, pulled pork, bacon and the like. I have enjoyed much of Jeff’s meat, soooo… I can see his point.

Wait. Did that come out way wrong or is it just me?

Great. I just got the “you have been put on Santa’s Naughty List” phone call. Sigh. You know I often wonder what that other list is like…

But I digress, this post isn’t about meat. Or baked goods. I know I know you want to run screaming in utter disbelief, but this is even better. THIS is what you all need more then ribs or cupcakes or even bacon cookies. Especially right about now. Welcome to The Most Ultimate Gift Guide for the Picky Foodie in your Life. i.e. What YOU can get ME. My address will be at the end of this post…

1. Iced Invaders Ice Cube Tray – $7.49 at Perpetual Kid – I do not know a SOUL who doesn’t remember spending countless hours and pockets full of quarters playing this mind numbing repetitive game. I for one played it in the back of Woolworths across from the Will Rogers Theater in Chicago. I am pretty sure both are gone now.

2. Ninja Salt & Pepper Set – $16.95 at Patina – For my birthday Jeff got me the Mini Ninja’s PS3 game. It is ridiculously cute and way too much fun. As soon as I saw these they made me laugh out loud. I do think however if you use them, you must scream out the appropriate ninja HI-YAAA every shake.

3. Foodie Fight Board Game – $19.95 at Fred Flare – So you know a self professed foodie huh? Someone who will question your every little move in the kitchen or decision when you are out to eat? Challenge him or her to a food dual by testing their culinary knowledge with this entertaining board game. You can also read all the questions and answers before you give it to them and kick their pompous little foodie ass!

4. Bloody Evidence Chef’s Knife – $14.99 at Think Geek – CSI meets your kitchen. If you are only 10% as twisted as I am then this is the perfect gift! Imagine the looks on friends and family’s face when this unassuming knife is pulled from the block only to find out OH NO IT IS COVERED IN BLOOD! So that is where fluffy went…

5. Baker’s Edge Brownie Pan – $34.95 at Amazon – I had this. I LOVED this. I forgot it somewhere on the other side of the Colorado River… 2 brownies come out with THREE CHEWY SIDES. Faint. Pure bliss. I also have the perfect brownie recipe for you as well. (Will come next week… ) Ok now I want brownies…

6. Matryoshka Measuring Cups – $28.00 at Anthropologie -I have Anthropologie’s Swan measuring cups. They came in a set of four. One of which bit the big one when I was moving, but I just LOVE them. When I got them it was a toss up between them and these cut little dolls. The swans won at the time, because the last doll set was broken. Touche’ Anthropologie.

7. Odd Sized Measuring Spoons – $18.00 at Uncommon Goods – I have a set of measuring spoons like these and I LOVE them. When I am TRYING to make cookies – I do not want to do CRAZY  kitchen mathematics! These save the day.

8. Wasabi Lip Balm – $8.00 at Fred Flare – I have never tried this lip balm. I have thought about it. Just like I thought about trying the bacon lip balm. But I am DEATHLY afraid of what Jeff may do to me should I choose to use either. You get it and try it and let me know. Jeff is locked in the basement.

9. Mister Bacon’s Big Adventure – $22.00 at Fred Flare – So the foodie game doesn’t tickle your fancy? FINE! How about a bacon game. I have no idea what kind of adventure Mr. Bacon goes on, but if it anything like the adventure I have in the morning at breakfast TRYING to get my hands on a SINGLE piece of bacon – it should be full of EXCITEMENT!

10. PJ Salvage Azuki Sage Thermal Lounge Set – $90.00 at Sleepy Heads – Okay. This is probably my favorite of the bunch. So. If anyone needs a gift idea for – oh I don’t know some goofy girl named Heather – this would work. Yea. This would definitely work. DEFINITELY. I am a large.

11. Bacon Watch – $24.99 at Perpetual Kid – I promise this is the last time I will mention bacon in this post. But seriously. Is this watch freaking hilarious? I want to get it just to wear it out and make people ask me the time. You there! Its 7:24 dammit!

12. Himalayan Salt Plate – $40.00 at Sur la Table – I want this. I think. It really interests me. We have some rocks of Himalayan salt and they are damn tasty. I fear that cooking on this may be too much, but I can’t help but stare at it and want it badly. It must be evil.

And there you have it! WAIT!!! Forgot the coolest gift of all. Your holiday gift shopping wouldn’t be complete without giving one of these. The best gift of evah:

I know that owning this book made great things happen for me.